Posts Tagged ‘symptoms’

Those Little Reminders…

Written by on October 16th, 2017 – 1 Comment

When MS came into the picture, I grasped for things I could control. I immediately ‎got a trainer, started running, and started getting my diet in check. As a classic type A personality, I expected immediate results. I did the work, show me the results! While the physical changes have certainly helped, I did not even consider the other side of the equation – my mental health. I have suffered with anxiety my whole life. Even today, I am hesitant to admit that in writing. I perceived it as a weakness that needed to be buried and for decades I thought could hide this “weaker” side of my personality without issue.

In walks MS. After I had gotten my physical health under control, I started to notice a pattern. Every time I encountered a stressful life event (or at least my definition of stress), my right arm and leg would go numb or my muscles would be so fatigued that every movement took concerted effort. When the stressor would go away, so would the symptoms. Now, this seems like a pretty obvious pattern to identify, but I simply didn’t see it; or more likely, didn’t want to see it. I would just get annoyed with my body and think perhaps I should run more. However, in a moment of sheer frustration, I finally took some time for self reflection and realized I had been neglecting half of the healthy living equation. So, I finally took action. I now see an amazing psychotherapist, who has been an excellent resource to keep my stress in check, and I started a mindful meditation practice. I cannot say that I have it all under control. I certainly don’t. Who does? However, I like to think that I am now a work in progress. I also look at my symptoms from a totally different perspective. When those physical manifestations of stress start to show themselves, it stops me dead in my tracks. It reminds me to take care of both my body and my mind.

MS still sucks! But thanks to those little reminders, I am now listening to my body and my wholistic health has never been better.

Forget Me Not As I Remember Always

Written by on May 4th, 2017 – 12 Comments

As individuals in this crazy life we live, it’s very easy for us to forget something that we’re not faced with every day, to forget something that we can’t physically see or to forget something we’re not always talking about.  It’s not our fault, we’re not selfish people,  we just have so much going on in our own lives that if something isn’t always in our face, we forget.  Remember that saying,  “You have to see it to believe it”?  Well unfortunately, any illness that involves suffering on the inside, falls under the “you have to see it to believe it” category.  This blog speaks to those with MS, to those with a mental illness (which is also quite common to develop in cases of MS) and really to anyone whose pain and struggle at times goes unnoticed or forgotten.   Lets be clear and I know my fellow fighters will agree, what you are about to read is not a complaint, a pity party nor am I throwing down the victim card for myself or anyone else.  I am touching on the very real struggle (hashtag the struggle is real lol….  I had to spell it out or it wouldn’t have the same effect) of being forgotten about.  Alright, lets break it down! Hammer time….

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The Grey Zone

Written by on April 4th, 2017 – 8 Comments

 

In the summer of 2014, I was a lawyer, wife and Mom to a beautiful 4 year old girl and adorable newborn son. Life was seemingly perfect…although, I was way too caught up in the details of life to appreciate it back then.

During my parental leave, I agreed to return to work to deal with an intensely stressful situation that lasted much longer than anticipated. ‎When I re-commenced my parental leave, I got sick multiple times. When I say sick, I mean big, ugly flu bugs. One after another. In fact, five times in a month. That’s when the numbness started. It culminated one night in September, when I woke up to discover the right side of my body stopped working. It was two in the morning and I certainly didn’t want to inconvenience anyone, so I hopped into my car and somehow drove myself to the hospital. My mind was racing. Was I having a stroke? Was it cancer? Was it ALS? According to Doctor Google, it was all of the above and possibly rabies.

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