Author Archive

frustration

Written by on April 9th, 2013 – 2 Comments

It’s quite marvelous how easily my moods can swing from one continuum to the next, like my MS has gotten herself a rope and is playing monkey games with my head, swinging from one nerve cell to the next. There are some things that just bother me about my MS. Ever since going to university in 2011, I pride myself on showing off my smarts. I expect a lot of myself, a bit too much, and anything less then an A, is not okay in my books. I’m known in most of my classes as the achiever or the know it all, that I’m just really smart and it’s just not fair to the other kids. I find this downright hilarious because if they had seen me before, I was doing drugs twice a day. I was the kid people said would be dead by 20. And now here I am. I guess on the bright side, I am both book and street smart.

Then you have my disease. No one would ever guess that I had MS. My friends are all high achievers, either in medical school/law school/business school/with masters under their belts/organizations on their belts/ and so forth. They are not the people you share your weaknesses with. Even though I go with the perfect act, I am very aware of my fatigue, of the slight tremors present in my left hand when I write/type and the headaches, which are all signs of my MS screaming because she is simply dying for my attention! The friends I have told, they laugh it off, they don’t believe me, they call me a bad person for “pretending” I’m disabled. It’s only when I shove my needles in front of their face do they stop laughing. It’s only when I put the CD of an MRI scan I had gotten from a past research study, which shows my countless lesions, blaring bright on my laptop screen, do they stop smiling.  Then they either treat me like I’m infected or pretend the past 15-30 minutes never happened. Tada, magic!

This week I had gotten enough…

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Rebellious

Written by on February 26th, 2013 – 2 Comments

Since this is my first post on here, I guess I’ll start off with a bit of an introduction on myself and how I ended up becoming a blogger for this website.

I’m 19 years old, a Torontonian at heart, and  I have always grown up with a huge amount of passion and a thirst for life. I was a quite rebellious youngster (as any child would be) and I thought I was invincible, that nothing could stop me. When I entered high school, I was ready to rebel. I had started smoking pot regularly, smoking cigarettes religiously and drinking casually at fourteen years old. I really couldn’t tell you why, I have come from a good home (if not a little neglected) and I was pretty much a normal kid from the suburbs, except for my strange and overwhelming need to experiment and to test the limits of my body.

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