Head Above Water

Written by on September 23rd, 2015 – 4 Comments

By: Andrea, guest blogger

strug·gle
ˈstrəɡəl/
verb
make one’s way with difficulty.

Sometimes, to struggle is to feel the universe reminding us that we need to slow down, realign ourselves, and be more self-aware before we move forward.  Through self-awareness comes balance and endurance.  So, stay positive.  Stay strong.  Ask for help when you need it.  Remember that, you will find your way through this.

AndreaAt this very moment, I’m struggling.  Struggling to keep my head above water.  Struggling to maintain positivity.  Struggling to ignore the signs my body is giving me, telling me to slow down.  Struggling to live life the way I always lived it before; life and work first, mind and body last.  And this scares me, because I know if I let myself hit that wall at the end of this finish line, it’s going to look different than ever before.  And so, I remind myself that MS or no MS, I need to let myself heal and breathe.  I will not hit that wall.  I will not subject myself to the possibility of another exasperation of symptoms by unintentionally neglecting myself.  It feels like I’m failing, when really, I’m failing to see this is an opportunity to become stronger.  I’ve got you MS.  I own you.  You do not own me.

And now, what a moment ago was struggle, is simply a reminder that I need to stop, and take care of myself.  I may not feel like I am able to do as much as I was able to do before, but in reality, maybe I was doing too much, too poorly.  Now I am choosing to do less, and to do less well.

So, stay positive.  Stay strong.  Ask for help when you need it.  Remember that, you will find your way through this.  And you will feel better than ever before.

4 Responses

  1. Leslie Davidson says:

    Beautifully articulated, Andrea. It breaks my heart that you have had to find so much wisdom and strength so quickly and so young but you should be so very proud. And you will find your way through this. Life can feel smaller…less…with a chronic, degenerative disease but, in truth, it has the potential to get a whole lot bigger. We are forced to look after ourselves, to pay attention, to figure out what is important, to ask for help, and to figure out how to give back. Keep writing; your words will land where they need to.

    • Andrea says:

      Oh Leslie! Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, my world is opening up in ways I could have never imagined…and I’m so excited and grateful for that.

  2. Tracey says:

    This is a wonderful post. I have struggled with those exact same thoughts. Thanks for putting this on the site as it articulates the fight of needing to slowing down and the desire to do as you did before. In slowing down you can do fewer things better and I have found you can appreciate all the smaller things in life.

  3. Andrea says:

    Thank you Tracey! I’m so glad you appreciate it. And so nice to know others feel the same.

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