Negative attitude anyone?!

Written by on July 21st, 2015 – 4 Comments

Random topic I know … but an important question I believe.

Do you often find that ANY diagnosed illness or condition CAN lead to an excuse to be negative??

Do I agree with this? To a point – yes.  I think any diagnosis is shocking and everyone deals differently. Some hit rock bottom before picking up the pieces, some stay at rock bottom, some never get that low – it varies, I realize that.  I’m not telling anyone how to act or react …

question markMy question is this;

When does having a negative attitude get to be too much? When are you allowed to slap someone silly and say “relax, it could be worse” or “stop being a downer to everyone else”.  How long do you let someone play their pity role?

I have always believed that MS (or any illness) does NOT allow you to be the “negative nancy” of the group …

Would love someone’s input on how to approach people who are negative with their illness … and I don’t mean “down days” .. I mean pity days ALL THE TIME.  Who go on and on about how awful this illness is the worst – it’s fine if they choose to poison their own life with that attitude,  but what about when they start to poison other people (with or without MS) and put bad thoughts in their head about this illness?

Thoughts?

 

4 Responses

  1. Tracey says:

    I think it is a balance of being realistic of what you are dealing with which may be perceived as negative by some and keeping a positive attitude. Finding that balance can be difficult — and sometimes one just needs a person to talk about things that they are dealing with because it is hard and scary to manage (no matter the severity of the problem). This doesn’t mean the person is negative just that they need some support and an outlet to share how they feel in that moment. The key is being able to say your fears then let them go to maintain that happiness and optimism to move on and enjoy life to the fullest despite the reality of having MS. I move forward in life with positive intent and happiness but I also recognize that MS is difficult and that negative things do happen as part of the disease.

  2. spicy says:

    thanks for the comment Tracey!

    I do agree with your comments for the most part. I agree that sometimes people just need someone to talk to.

    however, the issue I’m having is when people ARE negative … not a perception of being negative … ARE negative (which yes that’s allowed to a point )but I don’t believe you should poison other people with it – and then turn around and say “i’m allowed to be negative b/c I have ms” … OR … right now I know of people (with ms – like myself) who are coming down on other MS patients w/ this illness … b/c they are choosing the medication route .

    saying comments like “why are you taking drugs? that’s stupid – it won’t save your life” … to someone newly diagnosed this is hurtful (this is what I more so mean when I say “being negative”)

    I have always believed that each person makes their own decisions with their health … I don’t believe in coming down on someone b/c they chose a different path .

    Maybe I’m delusional there? ha ha

  3. Tracey says:

    No I don’t think so at all! LOL

    I think that some people are negative (MS or not) and those are the people who take away rather than add to your life so I can see why you are annoyed with the “I feel sorry for myself attitude” that comes across. I think we all have those moments but if that is the only moment you are having then a kind reminder to get out of the mood is a good thing like you suggest! I think though that you cannot unfortunately get everyone out of negative attitudes even with lots of time investment 🙁 — they gotta wanna change themselves.

    The choices in managing health as you say are your personal choices and pathways. Many people asking those questions are pretty ignorant and insensitive as to the difficulties in making choices when it comes to health. Being on a medication or going off one are both extremely hard decisions to make. It’s easy for one to judge when they aren’t living in another persons shoes. As a fellow MS’er I think supporting others no matter their choices is most important. We aren’t all the same so our paths shouldn’t necessarily be either!!

    I think is a great topic to bring up!! and definitely worth discussing.

  4. Elsie says:

    Please forgive the writing I do apologize
    I am using a new laptop and still learning the keyboard
    I understand the comments about the negativity
    I was diagnosed in 2001 with remitting relapsing MS
    The past two years have seen an increase of my MS
    I was probably one of the most active persons you would ever see swimming biking walking and walkathon enthusiast
    Now I have a cane and no longer drive
    I am not negative I woke up today YEAH!!!!
    I am not looking to blame anyone I do worry about my sons I hope they inherit great things from their Dad

    Recently my sister was diagnosed with RRMS
    She is angry She did not catch it from me even though that was the first response so I just let the rambling go on

    I am not negative I mean I have good days and bad but overall I do what I can with what I have

    She needs help and someone to speak with

    I would love to offer help but she does not see me as someone going through the same because I am not angry

    I just have to be patient