THEN MY BROTHER DIED

Written by on April 16th, 2013 – 8 Comments

The difficult parts of life are like a fight. The lifetime boxing match we all go through.

The first 24 years of my life were a challenge but it didn’t ever feel like a fight. Then MS came along and it was like a punch from out of nowhere that knocked me on my ass for years. But I got up. I fought. And I won the next few rounds. The fight wasn’t easy, but every round I kept coming out on top.

When heart surgery came around, it was easy because I could prepare. I knew how to fight it and it didn’t knock me down to bad. Eight weeks in bed with a month of “why me’s?” and I was back to my normal self.  The only difference was a massive scar on my chest.

Then my brother died and it was an uppercut that floored me. Right now I’m in the middle of getting back up and it’s really hard. There is no way I could have prepared for this punch. It’s the hardest one I have ever felt in my life. I’ve been kind of absent from everything for a while because I’m still trying to get up. The main thing is, I’m getting up. I am still fighting. I miss my brother so much. I am trying to get strength from him to get back up and get on with my life. 

None of us can prepare for the big hits.  It’s how we handle ourselves afterwards that shapes us into who we are.

I miss you Trev.

8 Responses

  1. Chris Cheverie says:

    So sorry for your loss, man. I’m sure I speak for many when I say how much I admire and appreciate your resolve and determination to keep fighting. Looking so forward to seeing you tonight at the gig, keep on inspiring from behind the kit and otherwise. Much love and respect.

  2. Lelainia says:

    Aaron, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s the kind of thing that feels like the rug has been pulled out from under you and steal the air from your lungs. I can kind of relate-just before Sept. long weekend, we got a punch to the gut too-my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. By mid-November, he was in surgery having his left kidney removed. Kidney cancer is very sneaky and it was found totally by accident so we were not prepared to get that kind of news-there wasn’t a hint that he was sick. These kind of major life events leave you reeling. All I can say is that we need to be especially kind and gentle with ourselves when major stress happens because this tends to be what bits us in the butt MS and NMO-wise. When someone offers to help in any way, let them help. None of us can get through the bad times alone. We have to allow the people who love us to have our backs. Sending you virtual hugs and wishes for your comfort and healing at this sad time.

  3. danben says:

    So sorry to hear about your brother’s passing Aaron and also troubling to hear about Lelainia’s husband having kidney cancer, my heart goes out to you both and to Lelainia’s husband to keep fighting.I too received a massive blow and shock to the system losing my mom last Aug 27th from a heart attack so I am so glad your heart surgery was successful.I almost gave up without my mom but she would never want me to give up just like your brother he too would want you to keep going strong and have the memories live on.

  4. Julia says:

    Aaron,
    I am so sorry for your loss..it makes me so sad reading those blogs, realizing how hard it must be to struggle with all that shit..it’s not fair that you have to go through all this in such a short period of time..but always remember..YOU ARE A FUCKING AWESOME PERSON!!! you inspire people and give them hope..you are admirable!!!..of course life knocks you down sometimes..KEEP STRONG AARON!!!
    I am so excited to see you guys in Utrecht in 2 weeks!Until then!

  5. Himani says:

    Aaron,
    So sorry to hear about your loss. I know there is little I can say to bring you comfort so all I will say is, you don’t have to be strong — just be true and easy on yourself. And one of these days, yes the pain will be just as fricken bad, but as all those incredible memories of the two of you come gushing through, a smile will find a way to crack its way through all your sadness.

  6. Trina says:

    So very sorry to hear about your brother.

  7. Miriam1998 says:

    Hi Aaron!
    It’s always hard to lose such a close person, and I feel so sorry for you! But you are such a strong man! It’s unbelievable how you got up after every single hit in the face, and I really, really appreciate that! Starting FUMS was such an awsome idea that gave lots of people hope! You are such a strong man, and you never stop fighting! That’s the best thing you can do!
    And yah, I know I’m late, but I had a conversation about MS with my english teacher today and what he said gave me the kick to write this reply^^
    I really hope you’re having a nice and carefree time!
    Miriam

  8. Miriam1998 says:

    oh sorry, i didn’t read it again before i postet it, i repeated some stuff^^ sorry

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