The year 2012 has ended and a brand new year has begun. With the beginning of a new year we reflect on the past and look forward to the future. Something that helps me reflect is my personal journal. I am an avid journal writer. I try and write everyday, but sometimes I only get a few entries in during the week. At start of each new year I peruse the entries of the past year. The years 2006 through 2011 were certainly not my finest years. If I were a writer for a soap opera or TV drama, I would have had a wealth of plot line opportunities to work with. Sometimes it felt like my life was better suited for a drama film with a tragic ending. 2012 was the year I finally turned the corner. Yes, there were still moments of melodrama, but overall the ups far out numbered the downs.
Writing has often been my salvation. It has helped me through some of my darkest hours and allowed me some peace at night. Writing gives me the chance to write down my feelings about situations and think them through. I think everyone has something that allows them the opportunity to clear their mind. For some it’s running, singing or reading etc. It’s something personal and unique to an individual. Sometimes it takes many years to find what allows a person that peace. I am thankful that I was lucky enough to stumble upon that key very early in life. I truly believe that if I had not had writing as an outlet during my MS diagnosis period I would have been brought to my knees. Even with having my outlet, it took me a long time to be comfortable with having MS.
My 2012 was a year I will forever remember. For the first time since I was diagnosed with MS, I was classified as being in a tentative remission. For the first time since starting annual brain MRI’s there were no new lesions. I did not have a single flare (2008 included 5 serious flares). I am not saying that my year was without its difficulties. I was still dealing with a migraine condition and I had some kidney issues as well. However, for the first time in many years, I took steps forward instead of my usual step dance. I am referring to the common one step forward, two steps backward dance. Now I can simply dance!
My journal entries for 2012 seemed more positive then years past and I can only hope that will continue to be the trend. I can only hope that 2013 will allow me the ability to continue to move forward and dance. I know there will undoubtedly be ups and downs but I am still grateful for each and every day I wake up on this earth. I will continue to journal, I will continue to dance, and I will continue to be an MS crusader! So for now, would any of you care to join me and dance?